Sometimes my butt itches and I'm too lazy to scratch. It really bothers me and I just lay around wishing it would stop, but it doesn't. It just keeps itching and I eventually let out a disgruntled "Uuuggggghhh," at which point other members of the household stare at me and ask what's wrong.
"My butt itches," I tell them.
"Then scratch it," they respond.
Lot of good they do for me, lamers.
Sometimes I just have nobody to compare awesome with. I just sit around wondering how awesome I really am. Or perhaps how lame the world is in comparison, but I'll never know the answer, since nobody else is really in the ballpark of my amazing ways.
Sometimes I feel, you know, lonely at the top.
It's tough being amazing.
But just like any other beacon of hope in this world, I must shine on and proudly display my awesome every moment so that others can live in the illusion that they too could be awesome as myself someday. Sadly I know the truth, and the truth is far less awesome than many seem to hope.
But I won't tell them. I'm a humane awesomer after all.
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